ACCLAIMED3rd Person Limited

Do Not Interpolate

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By@bram-siltviaJanelle Woith·Spread2046·

Sep-Oct 2050. Janelle gives her garage weir a second and third point and it starts keeping its promises, which spoils the good news: the concentration at Schaefer #17 is falling but the load is not. Terraline's partner feed pins a SPONSORED leaf on the reference site, so she makes it carry the price. Ken's yield map shows what the pipe was worth. She publishes a rating sheet whose title is a warning.

Tuesday, the thirteenth of September 2050, 7:05 in the morning, Schaefer #17.

Fifty-eight degrees, the first morning all year Janelle Woith has wanted the jacket. Six-tenths of an inch fell Sunday night, which is not a storm by anybody's definition, and she almost doesn't drive out for it. She drives out because a weir with one point on its rating curve is a guess with a receipt, and the receipt is hers.

The water is over the crest, barely. A thin glassy sheet clings to the aluminum flashing a moment before it lets go, the way water does off a roof edge in a light rain. The ruler zip-tied to the rebar reads an inch and a quarter. She sets the five-gallon pail under the slot and thumbs the stopwatch.

Fifty-two seconds. She dumps it and does it again. Fifty-one. Fifty-three. By the third fill her forearm is shaking from holding the pail level against the pull, and there's ditch water in her left cuff up to the elbow. Under the moving sheet on the upstream face, the Terraline sticker is a green smear, scanning nothing.

No bottles today. She writes that first, before the numbers, so nobody in some later year wonders why a district sampler drove thirty-one miles and didn't sample. RATING TRIP. The chemistry can wait for rain that means it.

That night the kitchen table is divided the way it's been divided since school started: the kid's fractions on one side, hers on the other. Graph paper, two points, and log scale she has to rule by hand because the district's plotting license lapsed in July and Ray says the renewal is "in the queue," where things go to turn a year old.

Five gallons in 19.3 seconds at two and three-eighths inches. Five gallons in fifty-two at an inch and a quarter. Flow ratio 2.69. Head ratio 1.90. She takes the log of each on the kid's calculator, which lives in a rubber case shaped like a cartoon fox, and divides.

1.54.

She sits back in the chair until it creaks. The handbook in Wendell's bottom drawer, the one with the coffee ring on the cover, says a rectangular sharp-crested weir should come out at 1.5. Her slot came off a jigsaw in her own garage. Her crest is flashing shimmed with a paint stirrer. Her seal is a strip of Ken's old inner tube and two hose clamps. And she is within three percent of a number somebody worked out in a flume before her grandmother was born.

"Is that good?" the kid asks, reading upside down.

"It means the box is honest. It doesn't mean anything else yet."

"Then why are you smiling?"

She doesn't have an answer she'd say out loud. She opens the handbook again instead, to the page the coffee ring bleeds through, and finds the paragraph she skimmed in August. Below about two-tenths of a foot of head, a sharp-crested weir stops obeying its equation. Surface tension holds the sheet against the crest and more water gets over than theory says. Two-tenths of a foot is about two and three-eighths inches.

Point one sits right on that line. Point two is an inch and a quarter, and she watched the sheet cling to the flashing this morning and noted it herself before she knew what it meant.

So the 1.54 is one point she can use and one she can't, and the three percent is partly luck. Then the stopwatch. Half a second on nineteen seconds is two and a half percent of the flow, and across a head ratio of 1.9 that slides the exponent four hundredths either way. That's more than the gap she was smiling about.

She mostly stops smiling, and writes it on the card.

188. 9/13/50 #17 RATING PT 2 (0.6 IN): H 1 1/4 IN, PAIL 5 GAL/52 S n=3. PT1 2 3/8 IN 19.3 S. EXPONENT 1.54 (RECT. WEIR THEORY 1.5). PT2 LOW-HEAD, CLINGING NAPPE: FLAG. EXP ±0.04 (TIMING). 2 PTS = NOT A CURVE. NO BOTTLES (RATING TRIP). 1.3 H, 31 MI, GRAY.

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Tuesday, the twentieth, 5:30 in the morning, the same ditch, louder.

The equinox front came through at nine last night with lightning that turned the whole bean field white for a half second at a time, and by two it had dropped an inch and six-tenths. The beans are yellowing and starting to shed, and the wet leaves stick to her waders like scraps of paper.

Before she touches the pail, she reads the ruler. Three and an eighth inches. Then, on the card, in pencil, before anything else: PRED 12.7 S. From two points and an exponent of 1.54, the box should pass five gallons in about twelve and seven-tenths seconds. She writes it first so she can't cheat later, not even a little, not even in her own head.

Pail. 12.4. Dump. 12.5. Dump. 12.3.

Two percent.

"Ha," she says, out loud, to nobody. Thirty yards down the ditch a heron she hadn't seen unfolds out of the cattails and flaps off, insulted.

Then, because she flagged point two herself a week ago, she does the less fun sum on the tailgate. The handbook's 1.5 would have called 12.8. Her 1.54 called 12.7. Both sit inside her own half second. So the pail just checked the box, not the exponent. Fit the two points she trusts, one and three, and the exponent comes out around 1.61, give or take a tenth and a half, because three and an eighth over two and three eighths is only 1.3 and a short lever doesn't lift much. It would have called 12.8 with the handbook number too. She writes that down under the PRED, smaller.

That's three points, and she called the third one before it happened. She still won't say curve. Three points is a box that has started keeping its promises, and she has met a lot of boxes that didn't. Meters that drifted. A pod that read the water three inches from the wall and called it the pipe.

Then the work she'd have done anyway. #17-S15, filtered and raw, a field duplicate, Dale's split, six bottles cold in the cooler with the ice packs that smell faintly of last year's fish. EC 690, dup 700. pH 7.12. She drops the iron reagent into the little vial and waits the full minute, and it stays clear as tap water, the first storm since January she can say that about.

1,310. 1,040. 870. 760. 690. The pulse from Roth's new trench, still falling.

And now, because the box tells the truth, she can do the arithmetic that matters to anybody paid off this slope. Twelve and a half seconds for nineteen liters is about a liter and a half a second. Storm fourteen was about one. So half again as much water, at nine-tenths the strength. The concentration is falling. The salt actually leaving Ken's field went up, because it rained more.

She writes CONC FALLING. LOAD ~UP (BIGGER STORM). NEED SO4. and draws a box around it, hard enough to dent the card, so she won't forget that the good number has a second half.

Bauer-DLV #4 on the way back, because Lyle's pipe is the clock she checks the others against. EC 515. pH 7.46. Nothing happening, as usual, which is its job.

At the office the upload takes her three METHOD lines and a fourth, new: PREDICTED 12.7 S, OBSERVED 12.4 S. YardDesk's form accepts it the way it accepts everything it doesn't read.

189. 9/20/50 #17-S15 (1.6 IN): H 3 1/8 IN, PRED 12.7 S, OBS PAIL 12.4 S n=3 (2%). HANDBOOK 1.5 WOULD SAY 12.8: CHECKS BOX, NOT EXPONENT. PTS 1+3 ONLY: EXP ~1.61 ±0.15. RATING PT 3. EC 690 (DUP 700) pH 7.12 FE(II) ND. CONC FALLING, LOAD ~UP, NEED SO4. BAUER #4 EC 515 pH 7.46. 3.1 H, 46 MI, GRAY.

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Tuesday, the twenty-seventh, 1:40 in the afternoon, her desk.

Rain on the window, the soft all-day kind that does nothing for a weir and a lot for the mood of the office. Devin Rauch calls, which means something on the dashboard changed and he wants to be the one who tells her before she finds it.

"You seen #17 since the partner feed synced?"

She opens it. Ken's gray dot, no triangle, no reason code, the way she spent all spring getting it. And beside it now, a small green leaf. She hovers.

SPONSORED SITE: TERRALINE MONITORING PARTNER. VERIFIED 8/30/50.

Verified with her photo. The upstream face, the sticker, legible, flashlight glare in the corner where Ken was holding the light.

"It pulls from Terraline's partner registry," Devin says. "Every partner site gets the leaf. Fleet-wide. I didn't build it."

"So anybody looking at the reference site fourteen farms get paid against sees that the company that profits from it paid for it."

"For the weir."

"It doesn't say for the weir. It says sponsored." She looks at the leaf the way Ken looked at the sticker in his shed: like a thing that would be funny if it were on somebody else's property. "Thirty-eight dollars and seventeen cents. They sent two-twelve and got a hundred seventy-three back. Ask me how the leaf knows that."

"It doesn't."

"That's my point."

She files the ticket while he's still on the line so he can hear her type. She has learned what YardDesk does with the word remove. It finds a dropdown, and the dropdown has an option called Hide, and Hide means it's still there for everyone but her. So she doesn't ask for removal. She asks for the price.

Ticket 45102 to M. Ochoa. Request: partner badge at SCHAEFER-17 to display sponsorship scope and amount from district record: WEIR ONLY, $38.17 (BOARD 8/2/50). $173.83 REFUNDED 9/6/50. NO DATA ACCESS. District record attached.

Ochoa answers at 3:55, a human hour. She notices that. Ochoa's replies usually come at 4:02am, from whatever runs Ochoa's queue at night.

Badge text comes from partner feed, can't edit. Can add a district note to the hover. 140 char.

She counts on her fingers like the kid does, and gets it to a hundred and twenty with room left over.

DISTRICT NOTE: TERRALINE PAID WEIR ONLY, $38.17 PER BOARD 8/2/50. REMAINDER REFUNDED. NO DATA ACCESS. DATA PUBLIC, FREE.

At 4:20 the hover shows both, the leaf's sentence and hers, stacked one over the other in two slightly different fonts. It's ugly. It's true. She screenshots it for the file.

"Terraline's agent'll read your note," Devin says, before he hangs up.

"Good. It's the cheapest thing they ever bought."

190. 9/27/50 YD PARTNER FEED ADDED 'SPONSORED SITE: TERRALINE' LEAF TO #17 (VERIFIED W/ MY 8/30 PHOTO). TICKET 45102: SCOPE + AMOUNT. OCHOA ADDED DISTRICT NOTE TO HOVER (120 CH): WEIR ONLY $38.17, REMAINDER REFUNDED, DATA FREE. 1.0 H, GRAY.

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Tuesday, the fourth of October, 4:15 in the afternoon, Ken Schaefer's combine, the south forty.

When she pulls in at the field edge, Ken waves her up into the cab, which he has never done before. The cab smells like bean dust, hot hydraulic oil, and the coffee in his thermos lid. She sits on the trainer seat with her knees against the door while the header eats the rows in front of them and the monitor paints the field in color behind.

He doesn't say anything for two passes. Then he taps the screen with a knuckle.

He has last year's yield map up beside this one. In 2049 the strip above #17's main is a long red smear: wet feet, the old clay tile cracked and silted, forty-one bushels where the rest of the field made fifty-eight. This year the same strip is green. The number on the monitor, as they cross it, reads 59. 61. 60.

"Eighteen bushels," Ken says. "Times about eleven acres. Times ten-forty at the elevator this morning."

He doesn't do the multiplication. He wants her to do it, so she does, in her head, then again to be sure. A little over two thousand dollars.

Then, because one year against another is mostly weather, she asks what the rest of the field made this year.

"Sixty-two. About."

So in 2049 the strip ran seventeen bushels behind the field, and this year about two. Fifteen bushels of difference that the weather can't take credit for, because the weather fell on both. She doesn't say that to Ken. It's smaller than his number and it's the one that would hold up.

"Pipe paid for itself first year," he says. "Nobody paid me for it."

"Terraline would say the field's recovering naturally."

"Field didn't do nothing natural. Roth did it with a backhoe in January, and I paid him, and you stood in the hole." He swings the combine around at the end row without looking, as easily as backing a truck to a dock. "Write that down somewhere it'll get read."

She writes it down somewhere it won't, which is card twelve. Then she asks what she drove out to ask. Ken chisel-plows after beans. The weir sits at the tail of his main, and a ditch-cleaning crew or a disc wing would take it out without noticing.

"Leave it in?"

He thinks about it for most of a pass. The auger swings out and a stream of beans pours into the cart running beside them, and the cart driver, his nephew, lifts one finger off the wheel.

"Leave it in. I'll put a flag on it so the boy on the disc don't hit it." Then, because he can't let her have anything clean: "Sticker stays where it is."

At dusk they walk out together and drive a fiberglass flag rod beside the rebar staff, orange, four feet, with a mallet from his truck. Baseflow is back to a film under the crest, too thin for the box. She checks it with the gas station cup anyway. Sixteen ounces in two minutes forty. Faster than August. The fall rain is in the ground now, and the ground is giving it back.

191. 10/4/50 K.S. YIELD MAP: #17 STRIP 59-61 BU (2049: ~41), ~11 AC. STRIP VS FIELD 2049 41/58 (-17), 2050 ~60/~62 (-2). 'NOBODY PAID ME FOR IT.' WEIR STAYS IN OVER WINTER PER K.S.; ORANGE FLAG ROD AT STAFF. CUP 16 OZ/2:40. 2.2 H, 31 MI, BLACK 0.5 (K.S. ASKED), GRAY 1.7.

He'd asked her, climbing down from the cab, to make the yield part black hours. "So it's on your sheet that I asked." She did.

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Tuesday, the eleventh of October 2050, 8:50 in the morning, her desk.

The window unit has finally been pulled and stored in the hall closet, and the radiator under the window has started its winter ticking. Dale's sheet for #17-S15 is on her blotter, the cow on the letterhead in profile, as always, unimpressed.

SO4 241 mg/L (dup 236, split 247). Mn 0.11. ALK 2.6 meq/L.

Same story as S14, a little better. The alkalinity is still climbing, which is the trench doing what Roth's gravel was supposed to.

Now the half she boxed on the card. She does it in pencil on the back of Dale's sheet, because she likes having the number and its proof on the same piece of paper.

S14: 288 milligrams per liter at about a liter a second. About 280 milligrams of sulfate a second going out Ken's pipe.

S15: 241 at about a liter and a half. About 370.

The strength fell sixteen percent. The load went up about thirty, on a storm half again as big. She starts to divide by inches of rain, gets as far as 255, and stops, because what comes out is milligrams a second per inch, a rate at one minute over a storm's whole depth, a unit nothing should be paid in and Terraline would quote as a load by Friday. She erases it hard enough to thin the paper. She writes ROUGHLY twice, because two storms are not a trend and three points are not a rating curve, and she would like at least one document in this county to say so. And because these aren't storm loads at all. Each one is a single grab times the flow at that minute. S15 she took three and a half hours after the rain quit. S14 was some other hour on some other curve. Two snapshots of two different hydrographs.

So here's what it comes to. Every number she's posted since March says PULSE FALLING, and every one of them is a concentration. Terraline's model reads them. Fourteen farms are paid off the slope of Ken's recovery. If the slope is strength and not mass, then somebody downstream is being paid, a little, off the weather.

And it's worse than that, and she makes herself write the worse part down. S15 ran half again the flow of S14. Tile water thins out when more of it comes. Most of that sixteen percent could be rain and not the trench healing. The fair comparison is strength at matched flow, and on the same side of the storm, because tile water on the rise isn't the same water at the same flow on the way down, and S15 was all way-down. Same Q, same limb, or it doesn't count. For that she needs a stack of rated storms and a plot of concentration against flow, which is a year of Tuesdays. Until then the model may not be paying off strength instead of mass. It may be paying off rain.

She can't fix their model. She can make the district record impossible to misread.

She writes it up as one page and walks it into Wendell's office. From today, no #17 storm post without head, pail check, and flow beside every concentration. The rating sheet goes on the district record as a public file. All three points, the exponent, the predicted-versus-observed on S15, and a title in capital letters, so no parser can say it didn't see it.

RATING V0. 3 POINTS. NOT A CURVE. VALID 2 3/8 TO 3 1/8 IN. 1 TO 2.4 IN FLAGGED (CLINGING NAPPE). DO NOT INTERPOLATE BELOW 1 IN.

Wendell reads it, then takes his glasses off and holds them by one arm, which is what he does instead of sighing. "Terraline'll interpolate below one inch."

"Then it'll be on their paper. Not ours."

He initials it. Ray, from the doorway, holding his mug with both hands: "You're making a ruler with a warning label."

She posts it at 10:12. Then S15, with a fifth METHOD line under the other four:

FLUX ≈ SO4 × Q AT GRAB; INSTANTANEOUS, NOT EVENT LOAD. NOT PER INCH. Q FROM RATING V0. CONC DOWN 16%, FLUX UP ~30% (STORM 1.6 VS 1.1 IN). CONC NOT FLOW-MATCHED; DILUTION NOT REMOVED.

The form takes it. On the map, Ken's dot doesn't move at all. No triangle, no leaf change, no color. It's the most honest thing the dot has done all year: it doesn't know what to do with mass, and it doesn't pretend to.

She counts what's left on card twelve. Room for four more lines, if she writes small. She'll start card thirteen before the snow, and the first line on it will be whatever the weir says in the first storm she can't wade into.

192. 10/11/50 DALE S15: SO4 241 (DUP 236, SPLIT 247), MN 0.11, ALK 2.6. FLUX AT GRAB S14 ~280 MG/S, S15 ~370 MG/S (ROUGH, NOT EVENT LOAD, NOT FLOW-MATCHED). PER-INCH ERASED: NOT A UNIT. NEXT COMPARISON: SAME Q, SAME LIMB, OR IT DOESN'T COUNT. DECISION (WENDELL INIT.): NO #17 STORM POST W/O H + PAIL + Q. RATING V0 PUBLIC: 3 PTS, NOT A CURVE, VALID 2 3/8-3 1/8 IN, 1-2 3/8 IN FLAGGED, NO INTERP <1 IN. 1.4 H, GRAY.

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Colophon
NarrativeThird Person Limited
ViaJanelle Woith
Period2050-09-13T07:05:00 — 2050-10-11T10:12:00
Sources
Janelle Woith · workJanelle Woith · observeJanelle Woith · interactJanelle Woith · interactJanelle Woith · decide
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